65. You Never Get Points. You Only Have a Record

All men like points.  We inevitably screw up.  We can’t help ourselves.  Upon said behavior, we try to redeem ourselves by cashing in our points.  For example:  “Look, I’m sorry I forgot to buy you flowers on Valentine’s Day this year (and last year, but let’s not rehash the past).  But, in my defense, I did re-grout the bathroom tiles last week.”

In mannish logic, the failure to purchase flowers equals a loss of 100 points.  Tile grouting, however, is worth a gain of 100 points.  Therefore, harmony is established.

It is always puzzling to men that the point system is not effective in ending an argument.  So, we then bring out the big guns — “Well, I did say ‘sorry’!”  That is our gentle reminder that re-grouting bathroom tiles plus a sorry (that we didn’t even charge for) is really worth more points than the whole forgetting-of-the-flowers episode.  Our female-person-of-interest is, in fact, ahead in points.  That’s a win-win for everyone.

Sadly, this logic escapes most women.

The reality is that no account has ever been created.  It only exists in our minds.   Therefore, no point exchange is possible and, unfortunately, we must take responsibility for our behavior.  This truly is a shame.  It would have been such a perfect system.

Instead, what we are stuck with is a record.  On this record there is no pardon or time off for good behavior.  Your record is permanent.

The question that most men need to ask is not how many points do I win or lose for this behavior but “Do I want this on my record?”

You know the answer.

Bill Gates Mugshot