76. Don’t Be the Dick

It is a miserable day out there while I write this.  Overcast and a slight drizzle of rain.  No color just yet in the gardens.  Even the people walking outside seem gray.

I have two offices.  My main office is very busy.  Every few weeks or so I travel to a rural community and borrow a small office from a surgeon I know.  Right now, I am in that rural community and normally I have a very full day of clients. But every now and then, like today, people either fail to show for their appointments or cancel at the last minute.

This leaves me with a somewhat patchy day.  I am caught up on my paperwork and I have no internet access.  I have time on my hands and I don’t know what to do with myself.  So I am writing this blog post.

The past two weeks I seem to be engaged in one conflict after another.  Perhaps the universe is  conspiring against me.  However, I know its just me and I seem to be in a somewhat confrontational or hostile state.

I have been arguing with the bank.  I have been arguing with a company that installed a gas fireplace in our home.  I had a disagreement with the service department at my car dealership.  In my work I have to deal with insurance companies frequently and I have had several arguments with adjusters this week.

There seems to be a lot of hostility oozing from me and I don’t know why.

I know that conflict is unavoidable and there will never be a day of no conflict.  But we do seem to seek that elusive day.  I am no different than anyone else and, I too, pursue that illusion.  That perhaps one day, all will be smooth.

But it is a fantasy.  As I write this I can feel my mood lifting and I am chuckling at what a complete asshole I have probably been to the various service people who I have interacted with recently.  I probably ruined some of their days and that does not make me feel very good.

I normally tell my clients (mostly my male clients) that at every party at the end of the night there will always be one dick.  The rule is: Don’t be the dick.

This week I have broken my own rule.  I have been the dick.

And the sun has just come out.

Maybe today is not so bad after all.

69. Angry Man

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